Dream

I have always adored the way R can make me laugh at the simplest things, at the most unexpected times, or in the most mundane activities. He has such a quick witted and dry sense of humor that just gets me every time! Often times, he'll make one liner jokes to our waitress, or the cashier, or the random person that makes a comment to him in the gym and they just kind of look at him with a confused look on their face, not knowing how to respond because they can't tell if he is being serious or not...And then there I am, standing next to him, cracking up because I actually got his joke, (which is ironic because I'm usually the one who never gets anyone's jokes).

Anyway, I have been diligent about keeping notes on my phone of the conversations we have that result in some hearty chuckles. I understand that many of these are probably "you had to be there" moments, but since we were there, and we laughed, I thought I'd share...

Last night I was writing (a rough draft) on my blog and R was rushing me so we could go eat dinner. R says, "Come on honey, you're not Carrie Bradshaw! You don't write a column for a newspaper, it's just a blog!" I burst out laughing so hard! Go ahead! Ask my rough and tough Army Special Forces Weapons Expert of a husband how it is that he even knows who Carrie Bradshaw is! (And for those of you who don't actually know (shame on you), Carrie Bradshaw is the main character in the Sex and the City TV series, which is obviously one of our faves!)

Earlier today, R and I were on the ski lift, both with our headphones on and each jamming out to our own playlists. I start singing out loud to a Five Finger Death Punch song that comes on; R tries to out sing me and busts out in TLC's "Don't Go Chasing Waterfalls" lyrics! I almost fell off the lift I was laughing so hard! He claims he wasn't really listening to that song, but it still cracks me up that it was the first one that came to his mind!

We had this little conversation over dinner:
Me: You know, people must think you are so mean to me when I tell them all the "mean" stuff you say to me, even though I know you are joking and we say stuff like that to each other all the time". I'm sure they're like, "Omg! Her husband is so rude!"
R: Yeah, until they meet me, then they're like, "What a dream!"
Even he couldn't keep a straight face at that one! We both laughed so hard and water may or may not have shot out my nose. Just sayin'...

And last one for tonight, which also took place at dinner:
We stopped in for a quick bite at the little pizza joint across from our ski lodge. The waiter brought out our plates and set this bright multicolored plate in front of R. He gives me a dull red one with a little chip on the corner. I say, "Hey! Why is yours so much more colorful than mine?" Without hesitation, R responds with this little number, "I don't know, but it probably has something to do with the reflection of our personalities"! Several knee slaps later, out came the handy dandy little iPhone...

And the rest is history.

Stay tuned Ladyoga readers, 'cuz there's more where that came from...

Jokes

One day I will write a book called "Sh*t My Husband Says". The following posts will be included:

Last week I made a(n apparently stupid) joke and R looks at me with pity in his eyes, saying, "Awww, honey, let's just leave the jokes to me, okay?" So I just said that to him in response to a joke he made (which was clearly a swing and a miss btw), and he replied with "Psh, yeah right. I mean, your jokes have been getting better but you're still not quite at my level". LOL Something to strive for I guess. Always something to strive for...

At the Scholtzkey's drive thru a few days ago, R's driving. Chick opens the window and totally checks R out as they are exchanging money, food and drinks. I giggle and say, "Babe, chick was totally checkin' you out!" He responds in the most aloof kind of way and simply said, "Yeah, must be my watch". LOL Yeah, 'cuz that's what we ladies look for in a man....a nice watch.

I was reading some past blog posts to R and was just laughing at how funny/ridiculous some of them were. I laughed and said, "Babe! These are actual happenings in our house!" He goes, "Great, I should start documenting your angry happenings." LOL And while we're on the subject, I may as well point out that he does actually try to do this. Whenever we are having a disagreement or a heated discussion on a subject, he ever so casually pulls out the "record a memo" app on his phone so that he can record what I'm saying (I'm assuming to use against me later on). It is at that point that I exercise my Miranda Rights and just stop talking.

This one will only be comical if you've read the book Personality Plus:
R and I were talking about Jesus, what he was like as a kid, toddler, etc. We were discussing what kinds of things he did and what kind of personality he had. R says, "I'm guessing we're dealing with a Phlegmatic Melancholy here". I giggled and asked why. He says, "Because, I just can't imagine Jesus being a Sanguine!" LOL

I had just gotten out of the shower, I was wearing panties and my robe. As I took off my robe and put on some pajama pants, R was standing in front of me with a grin on his face. This conversation followed:
Me: Why are you laughing?
R: Not laughing, just happy that you're finally getting into shape.
LOL Well okay then! Glad that's settled!

And along the same lines, this little number happened earlier today:
Me: (looking in the mirror at my backside): Man! Jenn (my personal trainer) really knows what she's doing! I don't have back fat anymore!
R: Ummm, I think it's probably more accurate to say you don't have as much back fat anymore.
LOL Okay, you're probably right. Thanks for clearing that up for me, Babe!

R and I have been getting ready to leave town, and of course, put off packing until the last minute. We were trying to get everything done and hadn't eaten lunch yet. Idk about you, but when my blood sugar gets low, the claws come out! For your sake, I'll just give you the last 30 seconds of our conversation:
R: I really don't want to start this 6 hour drive with you in bad moods.
Me: Then it's probably best we not talk to each other. At least til we both get some food in our belly's.
R: Agreed.
Moral of the story: If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

On another note, a week or so ago, I was omw to get my nails done when a car swerved in front of me so abruptly that I almost crashed. I usually keep my road rage to a minimum, but this was just uncalled for! So I may or may not have flipped him the bird along with a dirty look as I drove past him, just to get my point across that that was no bueno and he should watch out next time. Turns out it was an undercover cop. Woops! Mah bad!

Well, that's all for now folks! R and I are headed to Snowshoe Mountain in West Virginia for the next week to do a little Christmas Ski trip. Alone. Just the two of us. Which, you know what that means, there's going to be a lot more where that came from. No worries though, I'll keep detailed notes on my phone of all the sh*t my husband says and report back next year. Until then, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!



xoxo's
The Savard's

Sleep Talk

It's been a hot minute since I've blogged, right? Well, I was randomly trying to remember a funny story that happened last Christmas that I knew I had blogged about. Idk, something or other about a nativity scene...

Anyway, I popped open my Safari browser, typed in my blog address, and lo and behold, there it was! A whole crap load of funny stuff right before my eyes! I forgot so many of these stories and am so glad I blogged about them! I had a good little ab workout reading through them and laughing at all the funny things (that R has done over the years. I'm gonna be honest though, I wish I could say I was laughing with him, but when I asked him if he wanted me to read them out loud, he kindly declined with a "no, that's okay". So, I happily went on and read them silently to myself but certainly didn't hold back the sudden outbursts of laughter that were (in)directly targeted at him).

Anyway, although it's been a while since I've blogged, I always have the intention to blog whenever something interesting or funny happens. And in order to remember the funny stuff that happens, I often will jot down a few quick notes in my phone. I occasionally open up this little badboy and skim through it for a little laugh or two when I'm bored. With that being said, I thought I'd get back on the horse and continue sharing the funniness that is my life. Here goes....

This one is word for word what I wrote down in my phone:
R is sleeping next to me in bed and snoring quite loudly. I give him a little "love tap" (aka an elbow to the shoulder) and tell him that there's no snoring in this room, but he's free to go to the guest bedroom and snore as loud as he wants in there. A minute later, he rolls over and says, "No baby, I was just snoring you a love song". LOL What a romantic man I married!

This one happened a few months ago when we were in Las Vegas visiting our fave Las Vegas peeps, a big shout out to Phillip and Cynthia and family!! Woot woot! Aunt Cynthia is my most loyal reader and didn't for a hot second let me forget that I have been majorly slacking on my blog updates the entire time we were visiting :) And look where it got me?! Here I am now, only 7 months later updating my blog! Who'da thunk you'd have such an impact on me Aunt Cynthia?! haha! Love you :)))
So quick preface to this story, R and I were going to breakfast one morning and wanted Lauren, my 14 year old cousin to come along. Here's how the conversation went down:
R: (to Lauren) Come on boo.
L: (Confused look on her face) What? I'm not "boo".
Me: No, it's cool, we call everyone boo.
R: Yeah, "boo" just means "chick".
Me: (Now I'm the confused one) Umm, no. I call you "boo" (talking to R, of course).
R: (Thinks for a second) Oh yeah, "boo" is everyone.
Haha Idk why this made me giggle so much, but every time I think of it, I can't help but lol

Here's a little tidbit that happened with my 3 year old niece, Kaytlyn when I was visiting last month:
Me: Kaytlyn, do you want a piece of gum?
K: No, thank you.
Me: Does your mom let you have gum?
K: No. Does Uncle R let you?
:)

Another R talking in his sleep story:
R is asleep in bed. I climb in next to him and toss an extra pillow to the other side of him. He stirs slightly and then mumbles "I like your handbag". I giggled and said "what?!" just to clarify what I heard. He repeats himself. I say, "Boo, that was a pillow". He barely opens his eyes, enough to realize he was talking in his sleep and then says, "Oh no, I was just dreaming about bags". Hahahahaha!!! I guess it's true! Soul mates do exist and looks like I found mine!

And last but not least, R just decribed a pair of HIS shoes to me as a "wedge"! Idk if I'm more embarrassed that he even knows what wedges are or that he owns a pair of shoes that can be called wedges! Either way, let's never let him live this down, please!

Oh em geeeee, I love that man to pieces! He makes me laugh so much, even if it is at his own expense! :)

Into It

Idk why I feel the need to take note of the things I am about to write, but nonetheless, I'm doing it anyway. Here goes, a list of things I am currently "into":

Let's just get this one out of the way right up front: I'm into (over)using the phrase "I'm into it" instead of saying I like something. Idk what it is, but I totally dig it.

Wedges. I can't get enough of 'em. I love everything about them and they go with pretty much anything. It's all I've been wearing lately.

Speaking of shoes, I'm totally into platforms right now. The higher the better (and the easier to walk in too. Not necessarily a requirement, but definitely a bonus!!)

And o m g, if you can't tell yet, I'm sooooo into "talking in text" as my friend Dave calls it. I know, I know...this was recently voted a "no-go" on one of my past posts, but idc, I'm still into it :)

I'm into big, huge, long, dangly, make-a-statement earrings. When they are long enough to brush the top of my shoulder, I'm (almost) satisfied.

I'm loving fish right now. Fish anything. Fish earrings. Fish necklaces. Fish t-shirts. Fish art. Fish tattoos. Even sushi. I just can't get enough. I totally blame it on my inner Pisces :)

I'm super hearting blue and/or teal nail polish. I currently have teal on my toes and an ocean blue on my fingers :)

I'm into big, messy, teased, look-like-I-just-rolled-outta-bed ponytails. I get lazy with washing my hair and this is the perfect solution.

I'm also currently into mixing metals. Like a silver necklace with gold earrings, for example. I'm pretty sure this used to be a big fashion no-no, (and it might still be) but that won't stop me!

And on one last (unrelated) note, my gf Sara and I got VIP tickets from our friend/yoga student to the air show in Goldsboro this weekend. It was quite the adventure, to say the least. Here's a pic of us with the Army Golden Knights Parachute Team:


Okay, that's it for now. And I'm sure you're as happy about that as I am :)

Until next time folks, keep it real.
Peace out :)

Stop.

I have waited nearly 4 years to hear my husband say this one word to me, and ladies and gentlemen, last night, he finally did! Let me back this story up for you. In 2007, I got my hair cut. It went from this:



To this, in no time at all:




I kept it short for a while and I loved it. Until one day, I didn't love it. I got really sick of it and decided I needed a change. And when your hair is already that short, there's not many options for change. So what did I do, you ask? I did what any typical 3 year old would do. I grabbed the closest scissors I could find and attempted to cut my own hair. It did not end well. I kept thinking it would get better but it never did. So, 45 minutes later, I had no choice but to call my hair dresser in panic (and embarrassment, shame, and regret) and sweetly demand an immediate/emergency appointment. Lucky for me, she was open and just a few minutes later, I showed up at the salon with a beanie on my (nearly bald) head. It was a nightmare to say the least. (And no worries, for your benefit, I'll spare you those photos).

Shortly after this incident, R and I had a bet on something or other, in which R won and earned himself a bright and shiny Freebie. He chose his reward carefully, and finally cashed in with this little number: "You have to grow out your hair until I say "Stop". I fought it for a while, but remembered the value that Freebies carry and knew I couldn't break the oath. In fact, it was shortly after this (dirty little move) that we put the rules in place that will forever change the way our Freebie game is played.

Anyway, moving on with my story: Last night, Big R and I were Skyping. I had my hair up in a ponytail and took it down to show him how long it was getting via the webcam. His first response was, "Wow! Is that all your hair?!" When I said yes, he replied that he really liked it and thanked me for holding up my end of the deal and then, without hesitation said I can officially "STOP" whenever I want. I knew exactly what that meant! I was no longer being forced under the Official Freebie Oath we both swore to several years ago, to grow out my hair! I couldn't believe the words I was hearing! I thought this day would never come! I think I even said, "Really, it's not even that long?!" as if I were giving him one last chance to change his mind!

Needless to say, I've had a bit more swagger in my step today, just for the simple fact that knowing, if I wanted to, I could go get my hair cut, and not just trimmed!! What a happy day for me!

But wait! It gets better!! I sat down to write this post and was searching for old "short hair" photos, when I came across this. We call it his Rock Band Pic. Go on, see for yourself:


(I do realize this photo may require a bit of an explanation, so let's just say that R got into my wig closet once (or twice) and picked out this little number for himself. He thought he looked pretty good in it and if I recall correctly, he referred to himself as Fabio more than once!) :))

Sleep

Oh, how things have changed! First and foremost, my dear sweet R, as he likes to put it, has left "to do good things to bad people". I personally, would say it in a different way, perhaps something along the lines of "fighting for our freedom" or a particular word that rhymes with "enjoyment" but is actually quite the opposite. Call it what you will, the bottom line is that things around my house have changed quite a bit in the last month. I find that I cannot fall asleep before midnight, the house is a lot cleaner (or rather, there is just less mess to clean) when you live alone, ramen and cheese and crackers are actually considered "meals" now, and weekends just aren't as much fun anymore. I realize that I talk to myself out loud (more often) and I have to actually take notes of the things I want to tell R when he calls. I carry my phone around everywhere I go, literally. I take it with me in the bathroom, I hold it in my hand when I'm vacuuming, and I have it with me when I'm walking to the mailbox as to avoid missing a much anticipated phone call. I check my email multiple times a day and I am constantly thinking of fun, unique and useful items to put in a care package for him.

What does any of this have to do with you? Well, if you haven't noticed, the majority of the (funny) things I like to write about usually involve R, and when R isn't here, life just isn't as entertaining.

With that being said, I was looking through my iPhone photos and realized two very distinct things:
1) My iPhone has over 1300 photos on it! Holy cow!!
and 2) I take a LOT of photos of my dogs. haha

I came across several (note: when I say "several", what I really mean is several hundred) photos of the "dog children" (as my friend Sam calls them) sleeping and I couldn't help but share them. They made me smile and maybe they'll do the same for you :)















And along came Venus...



































Okay, I realize now that I am officially crazy, but no need to worry. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, right?! :)