Jokes

One day I will write a book called "Sh*t My Husband Says". The following posts will be included:

Last week I made a(n apparently stupid) joke and R looks at me with pity in his eyes, saying, "Awww, honey, let's just leave the jokes to me, okay?" So I just said that to him in response to a joke he made (which was clearly a swing and a miss btw), and he replied with "Psh, yeah right. I mean, your jokes have been getting better but you're still not quite at my level". LOL Something to strive for I guess. Always something to strive for...

At the Scholtzkey's drive thru a few days ago, R's driving. Chick opens the window and totally checks R out as they are exchanging money, food and drinks. I giggle and say, "Babe, chick was totally checkin' you out!" He responds in the most aloof kind of way and simply said, "Yeah, must be my watch". LOL Yeah, 'cuz that's what we ladies look for in a man....a nice watch.

I was reading some past blog posts to R and was just laughing at how funny/ridiculous some of them were. I laughed and said, "Babe! These are actual happenings in our house!" He goes, "Great, I should start documenting your angry happenings." LOL And while we're on the subject, I may as well point out that he does actually try to do this. Whenever we are having a disagreement or a heated discussion on a subject, he ever so casually pulls out the "record a memo" app on his phone so that he can record what I'm saying (I'm assuming to use against me later on). It is at that point that I exercise my Miranda Rights and just stop talking.

This one will only be comical if you've read the book Personality Plus:
R and I were talking about Jesus, what he was like as a kid, toddler, etc. We were discussing what kinds of things he did and what kind of personality he had. R says, "I'm guessing we're dealing with a Phlegmatic Melancholy here". I giggled and asked why. He says, "Because, I just can't imagine Jesus being a Sanguine!" LOL

I had just gotten out of the shower, I was wearing panties and my robe. As I took off my robe and put on some pajama pants, R was standing in front of me with a grin on his face. This conversation followed:
Me: Why are you laughing?
R: Not laughing, just happy that you're finally getting into shape.
LOL Well okay then! Glad that's settled!

And along the same lines, this little number happened earlier today:
Me: (looking in the mirror at my backside): Man! Jenn (my personal trainer) really knows what she's doing! I don't have back fat anymore!
R: Ummm, I think it's probably more accurate to say you don't have as much back fat anymore.
LOL Okay, you're probably right. Thanks for clearing that up for me, Babe!

R and I have been getting ready to leave town, and of course, put off packing until the last minute. We were trying to get everything done and hadn't eaten lunch yet. Idk about you, but when my blood sugar gets low, the claws come out! For your sake, I'll just give you the last 30 seconds of our conversation:
R: I really don't want to start this 6 hour drive with you in bad moods.
Me: Then it's probably best we not talk to each other. At least til we both get some food in our belly's.
R: Agreed.
Moral of the story: If you can't say anything nice, don't say anything at all.

On another note, a week or so ago, I was omw to get my nails done when a car swerved in front of me so abruptly that I almost crashed. I usually keep my road rage to a minimum, but this was just uncalled for! So I may or may not have flipped him the bird along with a dirty look as I drove past him, just to get my point across that that was no bueno and he should watch out next time. Turns out it was an undercover cop. Woops! Mah bad!

Well, that's all for now folks! R and I are headed to Snowshoe Mountain in West Virginia for the next week to do a little Christmas Ski trip. Alone. Just the two of us. Which, you know what that means, there's going to be a lot more where that came from. No worries though, I'll keep detailed notes on my phone of all the sh*t my husband says and report back next year. Until then, Merry Christmas and Happy New Year!



xoxo's
The Savard's