Sleep

Oh, how things have changed! First and foremost, my dear sweet R, as he likes to put it, has left "to do good things to bad people". I personally, would say it in a different way, perhaps something along the lines of "fighting for our freedom" or a particular word that rhymes with "enjoyment" but is actually quite the opposite. Call it what you will, the bottom line is that things around my house have changed quite a bit in the last month. I find that I cannot fall asleep before midnight, the house is a lot cleaner (or rather, there is just less mess to clean) when you live alone, ramen and cheese and crackers are actually considered "meals" now, and weekends just aren't as much fun anymore. I realize that I talk to myself out loud (more often) and I have to actually take notes of the things I want to tell R when he calls. I carry my phone around everywhere I go, literally. I take it with me in the bathroom, I hold it in my hand when I'm vacuuming, and I have it with me when I'm walking to the mailbox as to avoid missing a much anticipated phone call. I check my email multiple times a day and I am constantly thinking of fun, unique and useful items to put in a care package for him.

What does any of this have to do with you? Well, if you haven't noticed, the majority of the (funny) things I like to write about usually involve R, and when R isn't here, life just isn't as entertaining.

With that being said, I was looking through my iPhone photos and realized two very distinct things:
1) My iPhone has over 1300 photos on it! Holy cow!!
and 2) I take a LOT of photos of my dogs. haha

I came across several (note: when I say "several", what I really mean is several hundred) photos of the "dog children" (as my friend Sam calls them) sleeping and I couldn't help but share them. They made me smile and maybe they'll do the same for you :)















And along came Venus...



































Okay, I realize now that I am officially crazy, but no need to worry. The first step to recovery is admitting you have a problem, right?! :)

TV

We don't have TV; actually, we have a TV, but we don't have cable. Not even those basic 6 or 11 channels-whatever it is, that everyone has. Come to think of it, I don't know why we don't have those. Either way, we can watch dvd's and dvd's only on our TV. With that being said, we still find a way to watch our favorite shows via HULU. Seriously?! It's like the best invention ever! It's free and you can watch (pretty much) anything you want, and whenever you want! Seriously, it's amazing!

Now, let's get down to the nitty gritty here. We LOVE the Bachelor :) Not the Bachelor himself, but the show. True story. We watch it together every week and when R is gone, I either wait for him to return before I watch it or (if he's going to be gone for a while), I watch it alone and just fill him in on who did/said/wore/kissed what, etc. Don't judge, it brings us closer together.

We also love (as I have made clear on several occasions, but still feel it is noteworthy) Jack Bauer. For those of you who still don't know who this man is, I am seriously disappointed. We are all about the Bauer Power and are convinced he's the reason we all woke up alive this morning. Basically, R wants to be Jack Bauer and I want to marry Jack Bauer. What can I say, he's the bomb.com.

My sister just introduced me to The Big Bang Theory. Oh am gee. I knew nothing about this show until Ashley sent me season 1 on dvd (thanks Ash!) and I can already tell it's going to be a top fave! I'm pretty sure I would date Sheldon just for the pure entertainment of listening to the retarded-ly intellectual things he has to say. Not to mention, you'd never need a dictionary, a calculator, or directions ever again! The guy's a genius, literally!

Modern Family. Okay, we are definitely NOT crazy for LOVING this show, right?! It's freaking hilarious, to say the least. I'm pretty sure Phil is R's favorite character and don't hold me to it, but I think I'd say Phil is my favorite too! Although, I do love Gloria's sass and Cam was born an entertainer! So scratch what I said about Phil, I'm just going to say it's a toss up between the three of them.

And last but not least, we heart Dancing with the Stars! One of the things on R's "Wishes I Could Do Well" list is ballroom dancing. He took me for lessons a couple years ago, but they are ridiculously expensive, so we didn't continue once our package expired. Nonetheless, watching the show is so inspiring and (as I think I have mentioned before), we vote every week. Sometimes when we disagree on who to vote for, we play Rock, Paper, Scissors for it. We're pretty rad, we know.

Okay, that's it for now folks! Happy blogging :)))

Tan

My personal trainer and my BFF totally teamed up on me today while working out. They told me I was in desperate need of some fake 'n bake (aka: sunless tanning lotion) and Jenn even offered to bring me a bottle of her favorite brand as a gift. How sweet of them, right? Yeah, I thought so too. I tried declining the gift (multiple times), but they both insisted that I looked like one of "the light ones" from the Twilight Saga and that I really should consider using it on a regular basis. LOL And so with that, my friends, I gave in and graciously accepted the generous gift of "a tan in a can".

On another (not so interesting) note, I realized I can actually touch my elbows behind my back. Literally. I was pretty stoked about this because I have read/heard it's (nearly) impossible for the average person to do, or for folks who aren't contortionists in their spare time anyway, (which I am not by any stretch of the imagination). Anyway, I told R my exciting news and he replied by asking: "Did someone ask you to try that? Because you know why (guys) ask (girls) to do that, right?" Lol No, no one asked me, I was just stretching one day and figured it out!

While we're on the subject (of weird things you can do with your body), I've got a couple more to share:
-I can crush a soda can between my shoulder blades. Okay, not really crush it, but I can definitely put a nice dent in it.
-I can get in a backbend, lower down to my forearms, and grab my hands around my ankles.
-I have a gap the size of Texas between my big toe and my second big toe. It's so big that it looks like I'm missing a toe. For real.
-I can bend my thumbs back/down so far that they touch my forearms.
-I have an extra set of bilateral cervical ribs. Most people have 12 ribs, but I was freakishly born with 14.

Now that the secret is out as to how awesome I am, I will tell you some things I cannot do (but wish I could):
-Touch my tongue to my nose.
-Whistle while I work. Or whistle at all.
-Turn my eyelids inside out. LOL My kindergarden BFF's brother could do this and it was so crazy! hahahaha! Funny that I still remember that!
-Middle splits.
-Run (or even jog for that matter) longer than a hot second without hyperventilating (literally!) LOL
-And last but not least, I cannot, for the life of me, properly spell the word "restaurant" without looking it up first. Sad, I know.

Okay, your turn! Do tell! Do tell!!

24 Truths

Perhaps you have seen these before, but if not, I got a kick out of them and thought I'd share. Oh, and PS. I've bolded the numbers of the ones I most relate to :) Enjoy!!

1. I think part of a best friend's job should be to immediately clear your computer history if you die.

2. Nothing sucks more than that moment during an argument when you realize you're wrong.

3. I totally take back all those times I didn't want to nap when I was younger.

4. There is great need for a sarcasm font.

5. How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

6. Was learning cursive really necessary?

7. Map Quest really needs to start their directions on # 5. I'm pretty sure I know how to get out of my neighborhood.

8. Obituaries would be a lot more interesting if they told you how the person died.

9. I can't remember the last time I wasn't at least kind of tired.

10. Bad decisions make good stories.

11. You never know when it will strike, but there comes a moment at work when you know that you just aren't going to do anything productive for the rest of the day.

12. Can we all just agree to ignore whatever comes after Blue Ray? I don't want to have to restart my collection...again.

13. I'm always slightly terrified when I exit out of Word and it asks me if I want to save any changes to my ten-page technical report that I swear I did not make any changes to.

14. I keep some people's phone numbers in my phone just so I know not to answer when they call.

15. I think the freezer deserves a light as well.

16. I disagree with Kay Jewelers. I would bet on any given Friday or Saturday night more kisses begin with Miller Lite than Kay .

17. I wish Google Maps had an "Avoid Ghetto" routing option.

18. I have a hard time deciphering the fine line between boredom and hunger.

19. How many times is it appropriate to say "What?" before you just nod and smile because you still didn't hear or understand a word they said?

20. I love the sense of camaraderie when an entire line of cars team up to prevent a jerk from cutting in at the front. Stay strong, brothers and sisters!

21. Shirts get dirty. Underwear gets dirty. Pants? Pants never get dirty, and you can wear them forever.

22. Sometimes I'll look down at my watch 3 consecutive times and still not know what time it is.

23. Even under ideal conditions people have trouble locating their car keys in a pocket, finding their cell phone, and Pinning the Tail on the Donkey - but I'd bet everyone can find and push the snooze button from 3 feet away, in about 1.7 seconds, eyes closed, first time, every time.

24. The first testicular guard, the "Cup," was used in Hockey in 1874 and the first helmet was used in 1974. That means it only took 100 years for men to realize that their brain is also important.

Which one(s) did you like best?!

Dare Devil

I took the dogs with me to Lowe's the other day. It's right down the street and I just needed to run in quick to get a few things. Plus, they LOVE car rides! There's just something about sticking your head out the window and having the fresh air hit your face at 35+ MPH. Seriously, I tried it and it's fantastic.

Let me paint you a picture: Leviticus just stood on all fours with his head as far out the window as he could get it. Happy as a lark, no question about it. Keep in mind now, Suzi Q, our little Suzuki Esteem, has those child proof windows that only roll about 2/3 of the way down, and Leviticus is a 125 lb dog, so he wasn't going any where. Venus, on the other hand, couldn't make up her mind and kept moving from side to side trying to find the best view the whole way there and the whole way back. She even climbed into the front seat at one point but eventually made her way back to the backseat with L Slice. So there we were on our way home from Lowe's, pulling up the driveway (we have a fairly long driveway and it's somewhat uphill), with the windows down, when our little stunt man of a dog decides she doesn't want to sit in the car anymore, but instead, wants to race me (Suzi Q) to the top of the driveway! So what does she do? She climbs over Leviticus and JUMPS OUT OF THE WINDOW WHILE I'M STILL DRIVING!!! I couldn't believe it! She tumbles a bit and gets up before I could even blink twice and starts running to the top of the driveway!! It didn't even phase her! Granted, Suzi Q is a small car and Venus is an 80 lb dog, but nonetheless, it still shocked the heck out of me!! By the time I parked and let Leviticus out, Venus (had a major adrenaline rush) and had already done a few laps around the yard and was ready for some rough housing with L Dizzle. I'll tell you what though, I'm glad it happened when it did! Could you imagine if she had done that driving down a main road? Or at a stop light even?? OMG. That would NOT have been good. At least now I know, not only can she jump out of the car window, but she will jump out of the car window! Needless to say, her new(est) nicknames are Stunt Man and Dare Devil!